workaholic symptoms

been thinking too much about work lately?
i know i'm dreaming everyday.. last night i dreamt abt something bad happening to me and sean.. i cried so hard in my dreams and it was so real..
but on all other nights.. all i'm dreaming abt is work.. how i try and try and people still seem dissatisfied with what i propose.. even when i'm napping.. i dream abt work.. lol..
silly me..

work stress alas!

finally, i am experiencing some work stress from this company.. this NTU project is so important to me because it shall be the milestone of my very first sort-of-big deal.. and it is something which will be recorded on my scorecard.. something to prove my 3 months of existence in the company has gone to good use..
so, tomorrow's like judgement day and it's getting me a little jittery.. at the site meeting in the morning, i shall be faced with another competitor who is also fighting for this project.. i wonder how she looks like.. keke.. but i'm quite sure it won't turn out into a cat fight.. anyhows, she is only doing her job.. while my job now is to make her step back.. and back off! *grrr*
i hope all goes well..

hard to forget

i hold back my tears when i look at u.. but i feel all the hurt in there..
and i'm trying to make it all go away..
it's hard to forget the times u were so sweet to me too.. =)

a white lie with an undiscovered basis

i dun see any reason for the lie that a particular someone has said to me.. which is what's making me feel uncomfortable lately.. it shows that something is wrong.. that the person can no longer share what he/she used to share.. it's weird.. i feel i'm starting to know less.. and sometimes thinking i really dun understand him/her afterall.. but i can't confront the person directly cos it might seem a little irrational and unreasonable.. keep it all in my heart.. and all this bottling up is making me.. unhappy.. u know that u lied, and u know i hate liars, be it a small or big lie.. any form of deceit is deceit..
on another note, the bf seems quite sick of me lately.. especially during the past weekend.. with a little short temperedness and less patience to my casual queries.. so i've decided to leave him where he is.. let him call me when he wants to.. reduce my number of calls and smses to him.. and at certain occasions, i really dun feel like picking up his calls nor replying his sms..
because i feel like a burden...

小酒窝

i feel so strongly for this song.. the feelings are so strong i am unable to put it in words.. i'm just touched.. for no particular reason..

Xiao Jiu Wo - Lin Jun Jie

我还在寻找一个依靠和一个拥抱
谁替我祈祷替我烦恼
为我生气为我闹
幸福开始有预兆
缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了
无聊变得有话聊 有变化了

小酒窝长睫毛是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着想念你的微笑
你不知道你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好

小酒窝长睫毛迷人的无可救药
我放慢了步调感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好
我永远爱你到老

the perfection within..

i wish i could be more understanding, and a little more tolerant..
probably being 'blind' or 'deaf' at times might help..
stop seeking perfection, and i would be perfect.. =x

insanity & contradictions

i think i'm a little crazy.. now that i've a fixed mon-fri job that allows me to knock off on time.. and i no longer have to work weekends.. i start to contemplate on the possibility of taking up a part time job so i can use up the free time on hand.. isn't it contradictory..?
probably when, and if i settle down in this job, i might really start looking out for something to occupy my time.. *boo*